Expectations and Exceptions

 What is love?

Oh baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me

...

...

No, I don't know why you're not fair

I give you my love, but you don't care

So what is right and what is wrong?

Gimme a sign

... 

Let us consider only these lines from Haddaway. Why didn't one care even when he/she is loved? Why is there a question of right or wrong? What it means to give a sign?

I have my own thoughts about relationships that involve love, "unconditional love."

Is love unconditional? Is there no expectation from persons who are in love with each other? How much one forgive or ignore the weakness or negative things of another person with whom he/she is in love?

When we talk about love, it is not necessarily between a girl and a boy. Love can be between two persons irrespective of gender and kind of relationship. Love is that emotion between mother and son, father and son, mother and daughter, teacher and student, husband, and wife, etc.

A teacher loves his brightest student because that student excels in the subjects, respects the school codes and ethics, respects teachers, etc. The student loves his teacher because the way of teaching is so good that lessons become easier to understand and helps him to learn more.

What happens if the student does not score well at tests, and does not have ethics?. What happens if the teacher is unprofessional and lacks the knowledge to teach well?.

We always say that a mother's love is unconditional. We may agree that this is true to a large extent. Can we look from a different perspective? A mother always expects her son/daughter to do well in studies, not get into bad habits, adopt good ethics and principles in life, etc. What if a son fails to deliver these? I know personally a couple of cases where mothers have thrown out their sons because of their bad behavior. Yes, most mothers usher unconditional love, but I don't think the statement is a universal truth. 

So there is some level of expectations from both persons. When a person constantly fails to meet expectations, love will take the back seat. Can expectations burn the love over a period of time? How to avoid such painful endings?

Everyone will have expectations from their counterpart in a relationship. When you feel you are falling in love with someone, you need to imagine all the exceptions you can give. Every time the person fails to meet your expectations, think about whether you can turn that expectation into an exception. Suppose you have ten different expectations, yet you would give exceptions as you feel your love is strong and you can live with these exceptions. What happens when exceptions reach or cross expectations?. Will you still love that person?. If not, what it costs to have a breakup?. How painful will it be?

If you can tick all expectations and turn them into exceptions, go ahead and make the relationship happen and be real.

It takes quite some time, but it is worth the wait.

PS: This is my personal thinking. Feel free to express yours in the comment section.